Walking toward recovery can be hard on the heart. On the outside, I appeared just like everyone else, going through my day without a second thought. On the inside, it was a completely different story; there was a war being fought- I’m dodging lies, taking thoughts captive, praying, confessing, fighting shame, clinging to truth, and fighting just to stand up and smile. It was exhausting- mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It was challenging work, and each day was more of the same. It can be hard on a heart.

But God, in compassion, never leaves us to walk in the darkness alone.

He was there, fighting right beside me, fighting for me. Every once in a while, He would give me a glimpse of His grace, a tiny peek into what food freedom felt like. It was just enough for me to pick up my battered heart and fight one more day.

I want to share that story, in case you, like me, need the courage to take one more step and fight one more lie.

It was a day just like any other day. I had pl...

Shame is like a smothering cocoon; it seems "safe", and it's not. The only way you can emerge from it is to invite someone else into the space so they can help you break the seal. It shines light into where there was only darkness. And once there is a pinhole from sharing (or confessing, which I honestly believe is a deeper, more intimate action), true healing and transformation can result.

“The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned.” -Isaiah 9:2 NIV

I discovered this when I told my husband, after 28 years of marriage, and 32 years of knowing each other, about my past struggles with food & body image. And by making that choice, in 2011, to invite him into that dark, what I thought, ugly space, our relationship deepened and there was more intimacy in our emotional relationship and in our marriage.

I recently lost a friend to an eating disorder. She regularly talked about the guilt & shame she felt over w...

The 2025 Eating Disorders Day of Prayer will be held this Wednesday, February 26th. This event is open to anyone interested in seeking the Lord’s healing and receiving encouragement for recovery from food & body image issues; it’s for those with an eating disorder, their loved ones & friends, and health care providers- anyone interested in praying together.

Prayer and community are a powerful combination! 

At the prayer event, we have brief introductions, followed by prayer; some pray out loud, and some pray silently. It’s wonderful to bask in the prayers of others!

The prayer time is guided by the A.C.T.S. format (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication). This structure can be an effective way to organize our thoughts and requests. Let’s take a closer look at each one.

- Adoration/Attributes: Praising God helps remind us of who He is. Each time I praise Him for His attributes, my frustrations and worries are eclipsed by His greatness. God is greater than our circumsta...

Have you ever been in a season of life where your prayers turn into pleas?

In my own life, I’m in that place right now.

I fall asleep every night, reminding God that it’s completely in the realm of possibility for me to wake up tomorrow and for this entire situation to be behind me. Whether it is a prolonged illness, a painful situation, or a bumpy road to recovery, life can be hard.

Many times, in my recovery, I have prayed, “Lord, where are you? You could so quickly fix everything! What is the point of prolonging this?”

The challenge in our hearts then becomes real. We know that God cares deeply about our pain. We know that He is fully capable of changing things in an instant. And yet, He’s not doing that.

How do we process this?

We process it with HIM.

Friends, our Father is not afraid of the hard questions. He wants them. He longs for them, because only when you are real to Him can He be real to you. And there is nothing He wants more than to hold you close and walk with ...

In 2011, at a FINDINGbalance event in Colorado, my wife went to be filled with God’s truth; I went there to fly fish. Late one night, as we shared about our day apart, my wife opened up about her struggles with battling an eating disorder, disordered eating, and over-exercising since the age of 18. I had been clueless; I saw no red flags.

While that night was hard for both of us, I believe it was the first and most critical step of my wife's healing journey; that conversation gave me permission to check in with her to see how she was doing with food. Simple questions of how she was feeling and how I could help or what I could do. This shared struggle has led to deeper, more meaningful conversations throughout our 40-year marriage.

It also opened my eyes to be more observant of tell-tale signs that she might be struggling; stepping on the scale, body-checking in mirrors, asking for my opinion of how she looked, or skipping meals (I’m the chef in the family, so this one I notice). I...

Many of us struggle to keep up with the crazy pace of life’s demands. Our to-do lists are long...commitments, people, and duties seem to insist on having our attention all at once. We are responsible for meeting our own basic needs, like nourishing our bodies and moving in ways that help us thrive. And we often get sucked into a hustle culture that deceives us into believing we must perform and achieve to please God (even when, deep down, we know that isn’t true).

Without realizing it, things become out of balance, broken, and debilitated. We make our best attempts to thrive in chaos while operating at elusive speeds to the point of breakdown.

God adores spending time with us. And while He does desire our best, He knows our best requires rest and time with Him.

Our souls are healed through union with Christ.

“Shalom”, the Hebrew word for peace, means “to bring peace”, “to make things as they should be”, or “to be complete/whole/restored.”

“Jesus, I want you to make me whole aga...

As long as I remember, I’ve struggled with body image, and I believed I was fat. I was constantly comparing myself with others, and finding my value in what I believed *they believed* about me.

As I entered high school, I began to make changes that led me down a path of disordered eating.

In January of 2016, I was hospitalized for anorexia nervosa. I spent 7 weeks in the hospital. During this time, I began counseling, often with my parents present. That started the journey of recovery, but I was mostly unwilling on my part; it was forced by my parents and I only consented as long as it enabled me to do what I wanted to do.

I entered a “mostly recovered” state, which I lived in for a long time. This involved extremely strict rules about food and exercise, and an obsession with performance. It may have been healthier than previous behavior, yet still not a healthy way to live.

I certainly was not walking in freedom.

In the fall of 2022, I reached another rock-bottom place. I reco...

“Mom, I think I have an eating disorder.”

My daughter knew that I had struggled with an ED as a teen, and she was coming to me for help. I was glad that she told me, yet this hit me hard.

At fourteen, I’d spent nine months of my life in a residential treatment facility behind a door that swung shut and locked when we entered (terrifying!) Hearing that my girl was struggling felt like she was implying that I'd been doing something wrong; maybe she had gotten a message from me that her body needed to be different.

I felt embarrassed and ashamed because I thought I had done a good job of “getting over” my ED; I thought I was setting a good example of how to be “healthy.”

Now I was confused and anxious.

I found a therapist and a dietician for my daughter, and before long, the therapist told us that she'd need an intensive treatment program (partial hospitalization PHP). I fought this tooth & nail; anything to keep her in school for the next semester, anything to keep her out of tha...

Are you grateful?

Most of us would probably answer, “Yes”.  But how grateful are we?

It’s easy to be grateful during good times, when life is going beautifully- relationships are joyful and enriching, we’re productive at work, we’re healthy, and fruitful in our ministry. But are we also grateful when life starts to spiral downward; fractured relationships, health concerns, not feeling needed, or doubting our purpose.

Gratitude is a way of life, not just being thankful when life is going well, then being ungrateful when life is hard.

We must make an intentional choice to be grateful.

This can be challenging when life’s stressors escalate. We need an attitude of gratitude that is not dependent on our circumstances.

So how can we cultivate gratitude?

We need to develop a heart posture of humility; being thankful for the Lord’s provision. He knows exactly what we need and when we need it. He has blessed us far more than we deserve, so let’s focus on His bounty instead of what we ...

I was 8 years old when I got my first look at pornography. 

It was way before the internet, and at that time, this type of book would either come through the mail in a plain brown wrapper or be purchased at an adult bookshop. I can’t tell you how my parents got them, I know it was easy to find them in their closet.

With a bit of effort, I would climb onto an open drawer and up to the top shelf where the stack of “picture books” were. And on stay-at-home days, if my mom was working and out of the house, this was a ritual, something I anticipated. This was the pattern until I was 19 and accepted the Lord. I actually took them with me when I moved out, and then dumped them in a dumpster, like a sacrifice.

At 8 years old, I had no idea what these feelings were going on in my body as I looked at the pictures, but I did know that when I grew up, I would look just like those beautiful women, with large breasts and curvy hips and make-up and manicured nails.

Unfortunately, my body did n...