I am in a season of life where a lot of big decisions need to be made. Can I say that I hate making decisions, especially big ones? I would rather make a quick decision and live with the consequences than take the time to think things through. If I am honest with myself, it is the uncertainty that I struggle with. Once the decision is made, I know the direction I am heading. I can move forward; I can act. It is that period when I am approaching the intersection, debating and weighing options that is so hard for me to sit in. The fact of the matter is that much of life is uncertainty, much of life is spent making decisions both big and little.

The road to recovery is no exception. Often on our journey to healing there are more questions than there are answers. Emotions come out of nowhere and catch us off guard. Plans change, things happen, words are said that can leave our heads spinning. How should we react? And what if we are wrong? Why does this hurt so much? Which way is up?!?

Have you ever had the thought, “If I only could see the big picture, I would be at peace” or “if God would only show me the destination, the path forward would feel so much easier”? I think we have all felt that way at one time or another. High schoolers may feel that way about choosing a college or career path, single people wonder about getting married, and those in recovery long for a timeline and a place of freedom. Inquiring minds want to know, “where are we going? How long will it take? What is the path from here to there? Is that even what I want?” While it is not wrong to want the bigger picture, often that is not how life works. Our human minds yearn for clarity and understanding. We think that if we just had a little more information, it would make all the difference in our journey. God in His love and wisdom knows just the opposite. The truth is our human minds cannot handle a bird’s eye view of our lives.

If God had told me five years ago that I would be leading prayer ...

Have you ever been in a season of life where your prayers turn into pleas?

In my own life, I’m in that place right now.

I fall asleep every night, reminding God that it’s completely in the realm of possibility for me to wake up tomorrow and for this entire situation to be behind me. Whether it is a prolonged illness, a painful situation, or a bumpy road to recovery, life can be hard.

Many times, in my recovery, I have prayed, “Lord, where are you? You could so quickly fix everything! What is the point of prolonging this?”

The challenge in our hearts then becomes real. We know that God cares deeply about our pain. We know that He is fully capable of changing things in an instant. And yet, He’s not doing that.

How do we process this?

We process it with HIM.

Friends, our Father is not afraid of the hard questions. He wants them. He longs for them, because only when you are real to Him can He be real to you. And there is nothing He wants more than to hold you close and walk with ...