I am in a season of life where a lot of big decisions need to be made. Can I say that I hate making decisions, especially big ones? I would rather make a quick decision and live with the consequences than take the time to think things through. If I am honest with myself, it is the uncertainty that I struggle with. Once the decision is made, I know the direction I am heading. I can move forward; I can act. It is that period when I am approaching the intersection, debating and weighing options that is so hard for me to sit in. The fact of the matter is that much of life is uncertainty, much of life is spent making decisions both big and little.

The road to recovery is no exception. Often on our journey to healing there are more questions than there are answers. Emotions come out of nowhere and catch us off guard. Plans change, things happen, words are said that can leave our heads spinning. How should we react? And what if we are wrong? Why does this hurt so much? Which way is up?!?

One of my go-to coping mechanisms is rules. As my daughter has been in recovery, I’ve learned all about food rules and how many I still follow, despite my own “recovery” years ago at age 14. 

Even though I’ve come a long way with food rules, as I was doing my devotions the other day, I was struck by something else. My brain made a connection, and it said to me, “WAIT A MINUTE. I’ve seen this pattern before and it didn’t have to do with food. Where else are there unnecessary rules in my life?” 

And I thought about when I first got married; how obsessed I was with making our small basement apartment neat and tidy. One of the habits I tried to develop was to finish every little bit of laundry (even ironing napkins!) EVERY WEEK. I felt I had to keep up the ritual of being tidy so I could consider myself a competent wife (I have a lifelong habit of being messy). I wanted to erase my feeling of inadequacy by turning over a new leaf and keeping a pristine house for my new hubby.  

After...