It has been 4 years since God delivered me from disordered eating and shame from past trauma that I experienced as a teenager and young adult. Since then, the freedom has been beyond what I could ask or imagine! But to be honest, I still battle with the temptation to revert to old habits and thought patterns. Through the power of surrendering daily to my Deliverer and Defender, He leads me in triumph for His name's sake! 

 I am encouraged by the words in 1 Peter: 

 "So, prepare your minds for action, be completely sober [in spirit—steadfast, self-disciplined, spiritually and morally alert], fix your hope completely on the grace [of God] that is coming to you when Jesus Christ is revealed. [Live] as obedient children [of God]; do not be conformed to the evil desires which governed you in your ignorance [before you knew the requirements and transforming power of the good news regarding salvation]. But like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves in all your conduct [be set a...

Have you ever had the thought, “If I only could see the big picture, I would be at peace” or “if God would only show me the destination, the path forward would feel so much easier”? I think we have all felt that way at one time or another. High schoolers may feel that way about choosing a college or career path, single people wonder about getting married, and those in recovery long for a timeline and a place of freedom. Inquiring minds want to know, “where are we going? How long will it take? What is the path from here to there? Is that even what I want?” While it is not wrong to want the bigger picture, often that is not how life works. Our human minds yearn for clarity and understanding. We think that if we just had a little more information, it would make all the difference in our journey. God in His love and wisdom knows just the opposite. The truth is our human minds cannot handle a bird’s eye view of our lives.

If God had told me five years ago that I would be leading prayer ...

It was a downright heavy day, and I couldn’t pinpoint why. Nothing in my life seemed overly difficult. I simply couldn’t find an explanation for the heavy feelings of dread, self-loathing, and hopelessness that consumed me out of nowhere. I was sobbing as I grabbed my prayer journal to process this with Jesus.

“Lord, I feel like I’m being full-on attacked through a beratement of lies! I know this isn’t Your truth and it doesn’t even sound like me, so I’m bringing it to You to help me through it. I’m crying because I feel ugly, gross, and unworthy to exist or take up space in the world. I feel I’m a waste, and that no one can stand how large my body has become. I feel like a disappointment to myself, family, my team, and to You. I feel that my husband and family deserve better. It feels like this will never improve. Despite all my recovery efforts, it doesn’t seem to make a difference in my body and I FEEL OVER IT.”

Now, before contacting my team out of concern (and thank you if t...