Food Rules and To-Do Lists
One of my go-to coping mechanisms is rules. As my daughter has been in recovery, I’ve learned all about food rules and how many I still follow, despite my own “recovery” years ago at age 14.
Even though I’ve come a long way with food rules, as I was doing my devotions the other day, I was struck by something else. My brain made a connection, and it said to me, “WAIT A MINUTE. I’ve seen this pattern before and it didn’t have to do with food. Where else are there unnecessary rules in my life?”
And I thought about when I first got married; how obsessed I was with making our small basement apartment neat and tidy. One of the habits I tried to develop was to finish every little bit of laundry (even ironing napkins!) EVERY WEEK. I felt I had to keep up the ritual of being tidy so I could consider myself a competent wife (I have a lifelong habit of being messy). I wanted to erase my feeling of inadequacy by turning over a new leaf and keeping a pristine house for my new hubby.
After years of unending housework to-do lists, I realized checking things off doesn't do what I hoped to accomplish- which was to love my husband and to have him love me back.
Many times, I look at pleasing God and others like a to-do list; if I get everything on that list done, then I will have "achieved" loving another person. I'll be acceptable. The problem? I EXPECT that others will do their part of the “to-do" list I unintentionally set up for them. And if they don't, well, maybe I don’t really want to be around them after all. Or perhaps I think it's my fault they don't measure up. Or I judge their priorities. Or I feel ashamed and unlovable for having expected too much.
With food rules and to-do lists, I become obligated to things that don't really matter or don't get me where I want (or need) to go. Now that I’ve realized this, I would rather fill my life with the riches of relationships and joy.
Recently, my pet has been sick, and I've been taking extra time to clean her pen. It's not enjoyable work, but because I LOVE my pet, I do it. That's all. I am happy because I’ve cared for my pet and shown her I care. The pen doesn’t have to be spotless, I just want it to be clean. Another example- I am horrible at getting laundry done, I could do it all day and it would still be there. I love putting it off, BUT as I was thinking this through, I realized I could think about WHOM I was doing the laundry for and WHY. And that's different than having a to-do list; I might actually WANT to do more laundry if I look at it that way!
Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people…” -Ephesians 6:8b
-Cathi Wixson
Jesus’ Beloved Child. Lover of my Family. Joyful Singer. Creative Introvert. Art Lover. Lifetime Learner. Overcomer.
