The Apple of His Eye

 

David once wrote, “Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings” -Psalm 17:8 (ESV). The Hebrew translated into the phrase “apple of the eye” is “אִישׁוֹן בַּת־עָיִן.” It can be translated more literally as "the little man of the eye," or "the daughter of the eye." It is an expression which simultaneously expresses intimacy and a sense of preciousness. You can only see yourself reflected in someone's eye when you are intimately close to them. The “daughter of the eye” is the pupil of the eye—the most sensitive and precious inner part of it; the most vulnerable and protected part of it. Our Father’s heart for us, through Jesus, is that we are to be the “apple of His eye;” that we are intimate with Him, treasured by Him and protected by Him.

I once heard someone say that intimacy can be described as “into me you see.” It carries significant gravitas in terms of identity—knowing our Creator and being known by Him. Paul wrote, “I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord” -Philippians 3:8-10 (ESV). In other words, there is nothing greater than knowing Jesus; it is more fundamental to the very core of a person’s identity than any achievement or other relational status could ever be. In the Lord, “we live and move and have our being” (Acts 17:28).

Indeed, everything in a believer’s life is meant to flow from a place of being rather than doing. Jesus said, “...apart from me you can do nothing” -John 15:5 (ESV). That place of being is rich in identity. We love because we are loved (cf. 1 John 4:19). We are loved. That is who we are. We are forgiven (cf. Ephesians 4:32). That is who we are. We are made to be seen and known because we are made for a God who sees and knows (cf. Genesis 16:13 and Psalm 139:1–4). It’s just who we are. It’s our identity.

These thoughts on identity are significant in the recovery world. Taking these things and moving them from head to heart, and from brain to central nervous system, are essential parts of recovery. Part of being a treasure includes being safe. It’s not that a person recovering needs to rest—it’s that their nervous system must feel safe enough to allow rest. It’s that their identity is misaligned somewhere; that somewhere in their being they are not living like a child of the King. Somewhere, they’re living without a deep internal sense of safety and identity as a beloved child of God. This can be rooted in beliefs formed from experiences.

I can give an example of my experience of this in my own recovery. I was living my life as though some of the hard and horrible things that happened had happened with the outcome of shrinking my life. I then relied on myself and systems I created to somehow feel safe - to somehow protect myself from things happening that I thought would shrink my life further. In essence, I was living with a misaligned identity. However, depending on the Lord and finding my identity in Him means accepting that He is ultimately in charge of keeping me safe, and I am to look after myself as an act of worship in a body that is His, not mine.

Moreover, it is not my place to decide the parameters of my existence. As Paul says in Acts 17:26-27, in paraphrase, “God determined the boundaries of where and when people live, that they might seek Him.” My view of God was not right, further back in recovery. He was always working to increase my life, like what Joseph said when he went through horrible things that worked out as blessings (cf. Genesis 50:20). God was never punishing me through the things that happened. Rather, He was always working them out for my good. He saw me as worthy because He is worthy, and the reality of a believer is that their very being is tied up into Jesus. It’s being before doing. We’re made worthy, because He is worthy, and then we go on to live that out. These realizations enabled me to start seeing food and my body through a perspective of nourishment. Trying to keep myself safe in my own systems and with my identity misaligned was punishment, not nourishment.

True nourishment is taking in a deep breath and drawing near to God. He will, in turn, draw near to us (cf. James 4:8). When gold is being refined, the refiner needs to clear off the dross to complete the job. Dross is what makes the gold impure. The refiner knows the refining job is done when the dross has been raised to the surface and cleaned off, and the refiner can see his reflection in the gold. So too with the Lord. We find our truest identity in His gaze, as the apple of His eye. He will lovingly clean us and draw all the sin and poison and wrong beliefs to the surface and help clean us from them. And when He is done, He will see His own image, just as He meant us to show from the very beginning. In the gaze of our Father, we are refined, not rejected. We are the apple of His eye—seen, known, loved, and made whole.

 

 - Jo Pippa von Bergen

Wife & Mama. Lover of Biblical Languages. World Traveler. Amateur Photographer and Artist. Outdoor Activity and Nature Enthusiast. Spoonerism and Silliness Appreciator. Dog Wrangler. Overcomer.

 

FINDINGbalance is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization providing non-clinical support and encouragement to those battling food issues. The contents of this blog article, including any attachments, are for educational purposes only and are not intended to diagnose, treat, or prescribe a particular course of action. If you or someone you care about is battling an eating disorder, please seek care from a licensed professional. If you are in crisis and need immediate support, please call, text, or chat 988 to speak with someone at the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, 24/7

 

 

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