A Beautiful Spirit
“Hi Elizabeth!” I heard as my daughter and I were shopping in a local chain store. I stopped in my tracks. What? Who said that to my daughter? We just moved to the area and hardly knew anyone, so how could there already be someone who knew my daughter by name in a store around here? And then I looked up and saw her. It was the sweet tween girl from our neighborhood who had played with Elizabeth, just several days before. They had jump roped together outside, just down the street from our house. Her name was Samantha. She went by Sam. She was several years older than my daughter – definitely old enough to be “too cool” to give a 9-year-old the time of day. And yet, Sam had stopped riding her scooter that afternoon when she saw my daughter struggling to jump rope across the street, and she sweetly offered to teach her how to skip rope. She patiently stayed and played with Elizabeth for at least a half hour. And the whole time, I could not get over how kind and polite she was. She was committed to seeing my daughter succeed at jumping rope. I was so impressed with her patience and gentle spirit. But the part that left me most in awe was her size. From the world’s standards, Sam would have been labeled “overweight,” “non-athletic,” or “unattractive.” And yet, it didn’t take more than a few seconds of interacting with her for me to fall in love with the beauty and confidence that naturally radiated from her very being.
Now back at the store, a few minutes after seeing Sam there, we also had the privilege of meeting her mother, Barbara, who was also shopping. Just like Sam, Barbara came across as gentle, kind, and patient from the very first word that crossed her lips. I could see where Sam learned such beautiful grace. I told Barbara we were new to the area, and she spent the next 15 minutes telling me about the neighborhood and taking a genuine interest in my family and what had brought us to Florida. Much like her daughter, Barbara’s appearance by the world’s standards would have been labeled as “too large,” “needs to lose weight,” or maybe “obese,” and yet to me, Barbara’s size simply seemed irrelevant. The gentle confidence and kindness in which she carried herself stood out far more to me than her size.
Since these interactions with Sam and Barbara, I have been asking God to help me recognize harmful and judgmental thoughts I have about my own and other’s body sizes. For decades I have sided with the world and categorized thin as beautiful and the ultimate prize to strive for, while being "overweight" as the worst thing that could ever possibly happen to me. But slowly, God is changing that poisonous lie from Satan (and countless others like it), that have held me captive and chained to destructive eating and exercise behaviors for far too long.
“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give life in all its fullness.”
- John 10:10 (NIV)
Through God’s Word, His truth, and the resources from Christian organizations like FINDINGbalance, who speak His truth to those who struggle with eating disorders and disordered eating, I am learning, and BELIEVING, that there is a far greater definition of beauty than what is seen in someone’s physical appearance. It is a beauty that can’t help but shine from an individual, regardless of their size, when their faith is placed in Jesus and their identity is found solely in Him and not this world. It is a beauty that says, my true value doesn’t come from how I look. It is not found in what others think of me, or even in what I think of myself. It isn’t even discovered in my successes or erased by my failures. It is a beauty and unshakable value that is put on display simply from knowing, to the depths of my core, that I am loved by God. I am His child. And I am a treasure to Him.
“See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are.” -1 John 3:1 (NIV)
The more I seek to know Him and see myself as He sees me, the significance I have placed in striving for an impossible worldly definition of physical beauty and value becomes less and less important.
I do not know if Sam and Barbara are Christians, but I do know that the love and kindness they showed my daughter and I in those two brief, but sweet occasions were used by God to demonstrate to me that reflecting Christ’s character will always be a far greater, more worthwhile pursuit than maintaining a particular pant size!
- Jill Palmer
Passionate Seeker of Jesus. Wife to a Retired Navy Officer and Current Sports Management Professional. Mom to Four Soccer-Loving Boys and Two Gymnastics & Dance-Loving Girls. Family Taxi Cab Driver. Craver of Soulful Conversations with Good Friends. Overcomer.
FINDINGbalance is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization providing non-clinical support and encouragement to those battling food issues. The contents of this blog article, including any attachments, are for educational purposes only and are not intended to diagnose, treat, or prescribe a particular course of action. If you or someone you care about is battling an eating disorder, please seek care from a licensed professional. If you are in crisis and need immediate support, please call, text, or chat 988 to speak with someone at the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, 24/7
