In 2011, at a FINDINGbalance event in Colorado, my wife went to be filled with God’s truth; I went there to fly fish. Late one night, as we shared about our day apart, my wife opened up about her struggles with battling an eating disorder, disordered eating, and over-exercising since the age of 18. I had been clueless; I saw no red flags.

While that night was hard for both of us, I believe it was the first and most critical step of my wife's healing journey; that conversation gave me permission to check in with her to see how she was doing with food. Simple questions of how she was feeling and how I could help or what I could do. This shared struggle has led to deeper, more meaningful conversations throughout our 40-year marriage.

It also opened my eyes to be more observant of tell-tale signs that she might be struggling; stepping on the scale, body-checking in mirrors, asking for my opinion of how she looked, or skipping meals (I’m the chef in the family, so this one I notice). I...

By worldly standards, she isn’t pretty or even cute; the world would say she’s big, awkward, and not smart. I have learned many lessons from my friend “Mary”, a woman I called “sister” for no other reason than we both have April birthdays. She's 3 years older than I am, but developmentally she is closer to the age of 8.

Mary had attended my adapted fitness chair exercise class at a community center for many years. One day, we moved into a room with mirrors across the front wall. I asked the class, “Do you like the mirrors?” And Mary chimed that she loves the mirrors, “I like looking at myself”, and as she said those words, my mind raced and I thought-

“Do I like looking at myself? What makes Mary different? What gives her an attitude of joy, instead of dread to see her reflection?”

Later, I asked everyone to move closer to the edge of their chair, and Mary exclaimed, "I can’t because my butt is too boney." I laughed because I hadn't anticipated anyone commenting on my prompt, and...