Reflections

 

In 2011, at a FINDINGbalance event in Colorado, my wife went to be filled with God’s truth; I went there to fly fish. Late one night, as we shared about our day apart, my wife opened up about her struggles with battling an eating disorder, disordered eating, and over-exercising since the age of 18. I had been clueless; I saw no red flags.

While that night was hard for both of us, I believe it was the first and most critical step of my wife's healing journey; that conversation gave me permission to check in with her to see how she was doing with food. Simple questions of how she was feeling and how I could help or what I could do. This shared struggle has led to deeper, more meaningful conversations throughout our 40-year marriage.

It also opened my eyes to be more observant of tell-tale signs that she might be struggling; stepping on the scale, body-checking in mirrors, asking for my opinion of how she looked, or skipping meals (I’m the chef in the...

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From "Gym" to "Spiritual Warfare Training Ground"

 

On the journey to recovery, we face hills and valleys, setbacks and victories, lessons and testimonies. I found it helpful to start by asking Jesus to help me see my false beliefs about food, my body, myself, and God, and replace them with His Truth. While that unraveling process continues today, I became freer with each lie He exposed. After a couple of years, Jesus placed people in my life that helped me learn how to nourish my body and pair foods in ways that brought me happiness, helped me stay fueled, and made me feel better physically and mentally.

Eventually, the day came when I desired to be more intentional to move my body with joy. Almost daily, I found myself lost in thoughts of what that might look like. Sometimes I felt excited and ready to start a gym membership, yet other times I imagined horrific scenes of people staring at me, talking about me, giving disapproving looks, and calling me out for any number of reasons I didn't belong at the gym. I...

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