My recovery journey started in early 2004 when I met Constance Rhodes, founder of FINDINGbalance, at a public speaking event. Through her talk, I learned that my eating and body image issues didn’t have to be any worse in order to be valid and worthy of getting help. A year or two later, she asked a question that truly stumped me: "What would occupy your thoughts if you didn't think about food (or body image)?" 

Well, 18-ish years later, I’m excited to report I have an answer! Here it goes… these are some of the things that occupy my thoughts:

•  Procuring coffee with my favorite creamer;
•  When/if I can fit in a nap;
•  Work stuff, time management, and managing my energy;
•  Memories of past events, whether trauma, shame, grief, loss, etc., and then releasing that to Jesus; 
•  Who I can connect with today;
•  What snarky, funny memes do I want to send, and to whom;
•  Plans for the weekend- whether I need to rest, do...

This journey of recovery is full of hills and valleys. It's one step forward and two steps back repeatedly. In this emotional roller coaster where we long to be free, it's so easy to lose sight of our progress. Last night was hard…the last couple of months were hard. Some days I wondered if I had fallen all the way back to the beginning of this journey. Reality is that I can’t go back to “square one”. I am a different person than the one who started this journey; I feel more, I give myself more grace, I listen to my body more, and I am equipped with the truth. Yet I still grow weary and that’s why it’s important to acknowledge the victories.

Today was one those victories. I was at Costco and my favorite yogurt-covered pretzels were on sale (mmm...sweet and salty together). These pretzels only come out once a year. Last year’s version of myself would see them and say "Resist. It is only one month. You can do it", or she would...