The Gift of Enjoyment
This journey of recovery is full of hills and valleys. It's one step forward and two steps back repeatedly. In this emotional roller coaster where we long to be free, it's so easy to lose sight of our progress. Last night was hard…the last couple of months were hard. Some days I wondered if I had fallen all the way back to the beginning of this journey. Reality is that I can’t go back to “square one”. I am a different person than the one who started this journey; I feel more, I give myself more grace, I listen to my body more, and I am equipped with the truth. Yet I still grow weary and that’s why it’s important to acknowledge the victories.
Today was one those victories. I was at Costco and my favorite yogurt-covered pretzels were on sale (mmm...sweet and salty together). These pretzels only come out once a year. Last year’s version of myself would see them and say "Resist. It is only one month. You can do it", or she would get them and make a plan of what she needed to do to deserve them. If all else failed, she would get them and eat them feverishly so the temptation would be gone. Regardless of the outcome, not a single bite of those pretzels would be enjoyed.
The new updated version of myself did something unheard of today. I bought 2 bags! The thought was not "How do I resist or deserve them?" but rather "What do I need to do to ENJOY them?" Food is not my enemy or my savior. I have one of each already.
Food is a gift from the Giver of All Good Things. It’s meant to be enjoyed, not earned. So what do I need to do to enjoy this amazing gift? The answer to this question will be different every time I ask it. Maybe I need to eat them with a friend or maybe I need to eat them alone in the stillness of my house so I can savor the flavor, or maybe I need to put them in a pretty bowl. It doesn’t matter the answer. Enjoying the gift honors the Giver and that's what’s important. On top of that, it brings the Father great joy when His children delight in His provisions.
Friends, pause and take a deep breath. As you exhale, thank your Father for His gifts, and then go enjoy them.
- Tammy Boyd
FINDINGbalance Prayer Group Coordinator & Group Leader. Mom of Boys. Family Chauffeur. Lover of Laughter. Community Creator. Freedom Chaser. Overcomer.
FINDINGbalance is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization providing non-clinical support and encouragement to those battling food issues. The contents of this blog article, including any attachments, are for educational purposes only and are not intended to diagnose, treat, or prescribe a particular course of action. If you or someone you care about is battling an eating disorder, please seek care from a licensed professional. If you are in crisis and need immediate support, please call, text, or chat 988 to speak with someone at the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, 24/7.
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