The Shame Cocoon
Shame is like a smothering cocoon; it seems "safe", and it's not. The only way you can emerge from it is to invite someone else into the space so they can help you break the seal. It shines light into where there was only darkness. And once there is a pinhole from sharing (or confessing, which I honestly believe is a deeper, more intimate action), true healing and transformation can result.
“The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned.” -Isaiah 9:2 NIV
I discovered this when I told my husband, after 28 years of marriage, and 32 years of knowing each other, about my past struggles with food & body image. And by making that choice, in 2011, to invite him into that dark, what I thought, ugly space, our relationship deepened and there was more intimacy in our emotional relationship and in our marriage.
I recently lost a friend to an eating disorder. She regularly talked about the guilt & shame she felt over what she had done (was doing) to her body, and how she didn’t think God would forgive her; she questioned whether He would accept her into Heaven.
I would tell her, “God loves you unconditionally”, He died for her, and He was with her at her lowest, darkest times, and that her struggles became His struggles when she accepted Him; “He cries as you struggle”. She appreciated the thought but I don't think she believed it.
"(Nothing) will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." -Romans 8:31-39 NIV
In the past three years, through my relationship with this friend, I have found even deeper more meaningful conversations about my own relationship with food as the conversation comes up with my husband, it is continually evolving. He has helped me feel safe in all those deep shame places that are now open. This is freedom.
Jesus is our “True Safe”. He can handle all we are and more. I don’t take this gift for granted. I also believe He draws people to us to help us through our life, to make us better for His purposes, and to keep us learning & growing in Him. My husband is one of those people for me, a gift to cherish, and our marriage has always been a team effort.
I pray you will find your way to the person who can be the one that you feel safe to tell the shame parts of your life, whether that's a friend, family member, or a professional, so you too can break free from the dark cocoon you may be currently wrapped in.
"Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame." -Psalm 34:5 NIV
"Into The Light" by Matthew West on GodTube
- Amy Schaller
FINDINGbalance Guest Blogger. Wife, & Mom of an Adult Child. Retired Personal Trainer & Adapted Fitness Instructor. Philanthropist. Novice Ukulele Player. Turkey Lover. Metal Stamper. Overcomer.
FINDINGbalance is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization providing non-clinical support and encouragement to those battling food issues. The contents of this blog article, including any attachments, are for educational purposes only and are not intended to diagnose, treat, or prescribe a particular course of action. If you or someone you care about is battling an eating disorder, please seek care from a licensed professional. If you are in crisis and need immediate support, please call, text, or chat 988 to speak with someone at the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, 24/7.
